Follow Us

See when we post new obituaries

Your email will not be used for any other purpose and will not be shared. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Please wait

Verifying your email address

Please wait

Unsubscribing your email address

You have been unsubscribed

You will no longer receive messages from our email mailing list.

You have been subscribed

Your email address has successfully been added to our mailing list.

Something went wrong

There was an error verifying your email address. Please try again later, or re-subscribe.

View our recent obituaries
John A. Gentleman Mortuaries & Crematory Logo

Moving after a spouse dies?

Jan 03, 2020

One of the realities of losing a spouse or a parent is the impact that event has on living arrangements. Are we living in the “right” place? Is the house too big? Is it too far away from family? Will my surviving parent be safe where they live? Should I move to be closer to mom or should mom move closer to me?

These are tough questions and they come at a time when emotions are running so very high. They also come at a time when income has likely decreased, perhaps requiring a change be made sooner rather than later. Conventional wisdom says wait at least a year before you make any big changes to your living situation, but the reality is waiting a year may not be financially possible. If you are able to slow down and let the dust settle a bit, that is no small blessing.

Really, it all boils down to three considerations: happiness, safety, and finances. The surviving spouse needs to be in a place that not only works financially, but also is safe and happy. You are going to need to use both your rational mind and your emotions if you are to make the best decision.

On the face of it, the financial consideration seems to be the trump card.  After all, you have to be able to afford where you live. However, it is not always that simple.  When the happiest place is affordable but not the most frugal choice, then maybe happy trumps financially smart? Decisions based on both emotion and rational thought are usually the best decisions.

That emotional happiness factor also impacts the safety issue. Perhaps the safest living arrangement isn’t going to be a happy situation?  In that case, put your rational mind to work on finding a way to make the happy place safer.

You have to find the best fit answer for your family. As you are weighing those three considerations, resist the temptation to base the decision on what you think may happen or will happen down the road. Consider the wisdom of making decisions in the present, based on present circumstances. So, if dad is safe, happy and can afford to stay in his present home maybe no change is necessary … for now.

Honoring Military Service

26 Feb, 2020
Taps. There is nothing like the sound of those patriotic notes. It grabs your heart, it makes you cry. It honors the service and risk a man or woman took for our safety and the safety of our country. Public law provides military burial benefits for all who served and were honorably discharged from any of the five branches of the U.S. Military. Your funeral director or advance funeral planner can explain all of the benefits you or your family members are eligible to receive. They will also access those benefits related to the funeral or burial on your behalf. Your funeral director can help you weave the remembrance of your loved one’s military service into the fabric of their full life experience. Most who have served in any of the branches of our military, whether it be for a few years or as a career, will tell you the experience had a profound impact on their life.  Even when the service period was brief and at a tender age and followed by many years of some other vocation, that service should be honored. The funeral professionals at your local funeral home have the resources and know how to help you get the remembrance just right. In addition to the playing of taps and flag ceremony provided by public law, there are caskets, vaults, and urns that highlight each branch of the armed services to be considered. Photos and music can also be a part of the funeral gathering or ceremony and can add so much to the remembrance. How much or how little your family wishes to focus on the military service of a loved one is a matter of personal choice. With the assistance of your funeral director, a military service can be planned that finds the perfect balance for your family. www.johnagentleman.com

What to expect when you expect to be cremated

26 Feb, 2020
Cremation has been around for thousands of years. It is required by some faiths and forbidden by others. Governments, charged with protection of the public health and esthetic of the community, have laws governing both cremation and burial practices. One way to view burial and cremation is to look at each as a means to the same end. Dust to dust. Cremation is quick, and burial is slow. Either one is a legal and acceptable means to the end. Most people understand what burial is about, but questions remain about cremation.

Cremation or burial … is that the question?

26 Feb, 2020
When a family member dies or when a person is planning their own funeral in advance, one of the first questions that will be asked is, “Do you want burial or cremation?”. The burial or cremation question is a starting point for a number of choices that must be made. It’s a place to start. But it is absolutely not the entire story.

Cheap cremation

26 Feb, 2020
How cheap is cheap cremation? How do they do it so cheap? How is cheap cremation different from the cremation services provided by your local funeral home?

Finding YOUR Joy

03 Jan, 2020
Even months after the funeral it’s not uncommon to feel just not exactly right. We all lose our way from time to time. Things happen and we can’t find our JOY. It’s not really so much gone, as it is misplaced. Life feels dull and the days seem to drag. No matter what the circumstances, if you look for it, you can find your own personal JOY again. However, you will have to work a bit to find it and reconnect.

Who should record my funeral wishes?

03 Jan, 2020
There is a woman who once thought that she’d like to have a hologram made of her wearing an Obi-Wan Kenobi robe for her funeral. Her four sons grew up during the Star Wars era and similar to Obi-Wan, she would love to pass along the wisdom she acquired over her lifetime to those she loves. And yes, she would also like to have the last word! So who should this woman see to discuss and share her wishes? Should she talk to an attorney? Her financial planner? Or a funeral director?

We all love in very different ways: Preserving the family relationship while planning a funeral

03 Jan, 2020
You are with someone with whom you share some history. Maybe it’s a brother, sister, or a childhood friend. You are talking about an event from the “old days” and you suddenly realize you all remember the event a little differently. Most of us have had this experience. Our relationships work in a similar fashion. The way we love, like the way we remember, is unique to each of us.

Why plan your funeral in advance?

23 Nov, 2019
The story below illustrates the benefits of preplanning your funeral. Also known as an “advance funeral plan”, “preneed”, or a “preplanned funeral”, it is one of the few things in life where you can pay today’s prices for a product and service you may not need for many years down the road, thus saving you money.

The 4th of July … Birthday of Our Great Nation

23 Nov, 2019
It’s a time to celebrate. Summer is in full swing. We get out the barbeque and cook our hot dogs and hamburgers. We fly the flag, go to a parade and end the day with fireworks. Happy Birthday America!

A Year of Firsts

23 Nov, 2019
When someone close to us dies, a spouse, a child, a parent, a sister, brother, or friend, their passing leaves an empty space in our lives. We will go on and we will have happy moments, then happy days, and eventually whole stretches of happy time. However, that initial year, after the death, we must deal with a whole year of firsts. The first anniversary, birthday, holiday or vacation without the one we loved can be challenging to celebrate.
More Posts
Share by: